SoulEclipse

20091230

Last, extremely long post of the year

WARNING: As if it wasn't in the title already, EXTREMELY long post

Well technically it isn't New Year yet but it's nearby. I'm very much looking forward to it. At the same time, I'm also pretty much, well, not looking forward to it. Well, I'm looking forward to it because it's another celebration. I will get to cook something for my family (roasted tomato and basil soup), and will be meeting Urumi again on the 2nd. On the other hand, I'm also not looking forward to going back to school. I had too much fun back at home.

When I first got here, I received my first errand. I didn't think I would miss it. Then again, it's been a while since I walked to the store to buy 7-Up or Sprite for the chicken marinade. Then, I also got to bake brownies for the first time. And I just got back home. I really miss cooking and walking around the subdivision. I miss my family and hugging them. I was really happy.

Things then went slow again for a while. I made more brownies for the kids and at a later date, blueberry muffins. (To be honest, I should have baked the second batch of muffins for a few more minutes). I was anticipating meeting with friends. By then, I had a resolve to make my new friends meet up with the kada. However, I think I got too excited. Khan was the one who was prepping up when and where but I was the one who pushed it without his consent. I honestly felt bad about it. However, I still pushed it forward. The venue was at Rika's mainly because I soon found out that Shun's house was only walking distance away.

I also went to my neighbor's house after how long of not visiting him. We played his newly acquired Wii. Of course, I'm still not used to it so I sucked badly, both at table tennis and Mario Kart. xD Then I had dinner there. According to my mom, my friend's mom was happy I was actually even more sociable than before. Come to think of it, I did talk more with them than I used to when I was a kid.

Even online, my Christmas was eventful. Sure I became less active in forums but it's mostly because I spend much of my online Christmas in Ragnarok Online. My guild had their own Secret Santa event which I just decided to join at the final minute. I got a person whom I didn't know too well. Not knowing what to give him, I decided to do the one thing I did best: farm. I went crazy with the item farming and processed all of them into useful stuff. I gave his items earlier than the actual date since I couldn't log in that time. Boy was he happy, like "oh shit" happy. xD

There were some downs too. Of course, there was the time when Khan felt offended with me pushing the date and venue for the geekout. However, for some strange reason, I couldn't help but think about Cho-niisan either. Even though I talked to him on the night of the 22nd, I woke up the next day missing him badly. When he came back online, I was rather emotional and PM-hugged him tightly. Come to think of it, I do miss him right now. I have oh so much to talk to him when he logs in.

Of course, Christmas wouldn't be much of a Christmas if I didn't spend it with my family. The usual Simbang Gabi (literally Mass at night time) with the family was short. I didn't expect myself to listen to the homily as well (laugh). Food was set up. I liked the food that was prepared. I accidentally burned myself too. I was putting soup on a small bowl, not knowing that it had a huge crack (my sister dropped some bowls earlier). I was wondering why the bowl was suddenly hotter than usual. Then I felt my hand feeling something wet. I dropped the soup... Such a waste. T_T

Then the presents. Oh god the presents. Like usual, I get T-shirts which is a Christmas staple for me. Then there's always something that isn't a shirt. I got me a souvenir from my old Elementary/High School courtesy of mom. It was a fan with computer generated lighting that cheered for my school and dissed the rival school (laugh). But oh boy I was not expecting me getting a new mobile phone. Holy crap! My eyes were wide open and I was about to drop my jaw. Okay, after disbelief, I immediately changed my SIM card and placed it on my new phone and began customizing it. xD

Again, like usual, we would go to my mom's home province, Pampanga, to visit other relatives and pray for our late grandparents. Mom didn't think I'd eat something there, or that they'd prepare something that I want to eat. They had tacos with improvised shells (actually just deep fried spring roll wrappers that were shaped like taco shells) which was pretty much most of my lunch. Then there were watermelons which I only appreciated eating last year. There was also Buko-Lychee Sherbet. It was tasty but then I remembered, I'm not really fond of Lychees. Buko (young coconut) is fine for me though. Then we just talked a lot with our relatives. Not much else.

Going back home from Pampanga, we stopped by at Starbucks. I ordered Strawberries and Cream Frappuccino and, like last year, some Cinnamon-flavored After-Coffee Mints. Eh, not so good as the actual Strawberries and Cream. Then I found out that my cousins bought some Subway sandwiches so I decided to buy some for myself. My sisters went along with me too after a few minutes. It was then I learned of a little problem regarding my cousin and Starbuck's security guard. Long story short, the security guard was being rude. That got resolved though.

Sometime in between Christmas and the assigned geekout date, the 28th, we had Yellow Cab for dinner and I got a new haircut. All else, not much but I became really excited when it was time for me to go.

Mom told me to bring roasted chicken and gravy along with me. I got my books that Rika wanted to read. Dad agreed to drive me to Rika's place too. I had to pick up some friends first though. I told my dad that Colin and Todd would be waiting for me at 7-Eleven near a train station. Then, we went over to Shun's place. However, since Shun's directions were vague, we didn't find his house immediately, or even, at all. We went straight to Rika's instead.

Oh damn that was fun. Introductions were in order. There was great food, of course and I put mine on the table. I took out the books and the Talked to them, showed my little fan to them (all of them were amused). Checked where Shun's place was again. Went back and played SSBB on the Wii. Still sucked on it. Changed it to TvC. Owned and got owned for a few here and there. Checked on Shun's place again and asked around. No luck and went back to Rika's...

OH LOL! We sang to our hearts' content when we got back. Rika put her Magic Sing videoke up and started singing old nostalgic songs. Creole came around that time too. We sang songs like a few Backstreet Boys songs, Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, and Zombie by the Cranberries.

Then, in the middle of the fun singing, I got a call from Shun. I hurried off to meet them despite it being dark already. Shun, Junpei and Pei's brother, Patrick came. More introductions were in order. A few minutes have passed though and Colin and Todd had to leave early. By that time, I began talking a bit more with Pei and Shun though we did occasionally talk with the kada. I'm glad Pei, Shun, and the initially silent Patrick had fun with my friends.

We all left at around 1 AM. I asked permission if I could stay for the night at Shun's since he offered to. Pei, Shun and I talked a lot too. Drawing tips, problems, all sorts of things we talked about. It was only too bad Shun's computer broke down. We talked a lot that they ended up sleeping at around 4 AM. I didn't sleep 'til 2 hours later though. I was also the first one to wake up. When they woke up, we talked a bit more and watched Ponyo (though Pei slept again). Pei finally got up after Ponyo finished. Then we cooked up something for lunch...oh boy. Hoku's pretty jealous right now.

Shun and I helped a bit. Most of the work was Pei's though. We went for double breaded chicken strips, green beans in garlic butter, and some onion rings. Gravy too. It was a good opportunity to watch because, well despite my passion for cooking, I'm still just a novice. So there, he taught me a few things and I got to know the difference between his gravy and my mom's gravy. The end results were delicious.

We talked a bit more, opened my laptop and checked and shared a few pictures. I saw Hoku and Pei's pictures when Hoku came here. I shared a few more too. I even left my Hard Disk Drive for them to watch FMA:Brotherhood. Again, it's sad Shun's computer broke down. Multiple times during the day, my parents called and told me to come home already. I didn't want to though. Sadly, I had to leave, though it took me hours to actually get out of the house. xD I left at around 6 PM and arrived at 10 PM. I had to look for a book as I got home so it took me a while.

And here I am now. I still didn't want to go home and yet I'm home. Even though I was quiet during my stay at Shun and Pei, I had a lot of fun being with them. Tomorrow, I'll have to do some cooking.

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20091218

Going back home

Up to until now, I wasn't feeling the excitement. I was just looking forward to getting back home for the first time in a few months, but when I got down from my bunk to fix my things, my whole body suddenly started trembling. It's like I can't believe I'm finally meeting my family again. I've anticipated this but it was only now that I felt myself really excited about it.

It was a last minute decision but I thought of trying to make tomato soup. Last time, my mom made it. This time, I want to cook it myself. It's especially nice for the current weather when it's cool. My sisters also wanted onion rings so I'll add that to my list of things to cook. I also wanted to make grilled cheese to make along with the soup.

Some other things concern me though. In particular, the geekout. I want to clear this issue up as soon as possible. Most of the kada want to get together on the 28th. Unfortunately, I also planned to go to an EB on the same day. Khan was actually welcoming my other friends to come over though, which I think is fine because there's only just the five of us, including me. I'm still not sure, however. Now, it's either I could move the EB to a different date or accept the invitation (A third option would be me skipping either the geekout or the EB but I don't want either). However we're also still missing the venue for the geekout. I'll have to talk about this with my kada later.

Right now though, I just want to go back home~~

And eat something. I'm hungry.

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20091214

That time of year

I'm losing my grip over reality again and even the internet isn't so much fun anymore. It's that time of the year where I lose motivation to do things. The only thing that keeps me sane now is my will to live and the chance to talk to my big brother again. Well, not really slipping into insanity but hell, I'm just bored at everything now.

I feel like there's nothing worthwhile to do anymore. Even the forums I love to go to, I've let them go away now. Was it because I anticipated too much on finally getting home? Was it because I really just have a short attention span or something similar? Is it just because I'm hungry and I don't have any more money? Either way, I have to break free from all of these.

Would have it been better if I had someone to support me all the time or will I just become spoiled? Would have it been better if I had graduated already, or entered into a course that I really like as early as my first year? Regrets, and yet I can't do anything about those anymore.

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  • 19:49 Okay. Now I'm bored. =/ #
  • 19:53 @bloodriot Nothing to do. Weekends always do that. =/ #
  • 21:27 Might as well take a shower. Then I'll draw. #
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20091213

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  • 10:37 @bloodriot lulz. And I just read KHR too #
  • 13:52 I cant seem to take naps anymore. =( #
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20091212

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  • 12:57 @Ecapa Lol. It means times fly by so fast that I didn't realize it was a Friday already. #
  • 12:58 *facepalm* #
  • 21:14 @bloodriot So what ride did you...well, ride? #
  • 21:19 @bloodriot Hmm, never tried the Rio Grande Rapids before. And that lame ride. #
  • 21:21 @Aenthin Now I want to go to Enchanted Kingdom. xD #
  • 21:21 @Aenthin Crappy arcade though #
  • 21:22 Oh lol. I just replied to myself #
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20091211

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  • 15:41 OMG! I'm actually using my left hand to write SMS messages #
  • 19:33 It's been a while since I did pushups and situps. #
  • 20:35 Damn it Cebu Pacific. This is like the 5th time I've tried to book a flight all because you're crappy! D: #
  • 20:37 Well, actually the website is crappy. #
  • 20:43 Screw it. I'll just let mom book me the flight. #
  • 21:23 I do often wonder why I suck at using Original Kyo but I can do well with his clones? #
  • 21:23 Except Shingo. #
  • 21:46 I was wondering why I didn't feel bored today. Then I remembered I was reading TV Tropes. #
  • 08:00 @Ecapa lmao #
  • 09:19 And it just occured to me. Holy crap, it's a Friday! #
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20091210

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  • 11:59 working on my MSN custom emotes #
  • 21:03 It's been a while since I last read from TV Tropes. #
  • 21:52 @bloodriot Again, I quote, people are morons. :< #
  • 06:33 @ponkhan Mooooooooooooooooo #
  • 07:13 @rxtmr I was a kid when I was on my dad's car and my mom was also driving the jeep. I said to my dad, "unahan natin si Mama," #
  • 07:14 @rxtmr and then, when I finally see my mom's j eep nearing us, I suddenly switch sides and root for my mom. #
  • 07:29 @rxtmr Small theory: Aside from being drawn by The Beatles' music, sira na rin kasi yung Cassette Tapes/Players kaya bili na rin ng CDs #
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20091209

Not again! D:

Oh no. It's that time again. Ack! I need to snap out of this.

Maybe I'll have to talk to my big brother about this. I hope this helps. >_<

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  • 00:20 I was about to say I'm gonna sleep earlier than usual but...this IS my usual sleeping time. #
  • 07:40 @rxtmr Monster's riot already? That was quick. Greetings to my family, especially my bored sister, Fay. They don't have internet at the mo. #
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20091208

Normal

So most everything is back to normal now, and by normal, it's the usual days of boredom and going to class, studying here and there. Hell, even the internet's normal now. Just a few things though:
  1. If you have been reading some of my tweets, I'm have a stuffy nose that annoys me everytime I want to sleep,
  2. I'm feeling extremely giddy whenever I get to talk to my best friend and older brother
  3. I'm excited to get home on the 19th but for the first time, I'm not sure what food to make
  4. I'm out of money again. *laugh*
So instead of posting about repeated stuff, let's talk about Softball...IT'S DAMN TIRING. Granted, I'm probably one of the last placers in my group of friends if you talk about stamina and endurance, but hell! I've been assigned pitcher AND cleanup hitter. Well, the cleanup position is fine but pitching is harder than you think. I have to control the ball, make sure it isn't too strong or too weak. Then I have to throw it at a good angle with a peak of 6 to 12 feet. Then my teammates don't know their own strength. I had to run a lot today just catching the ball everytime they throw. Oh well. At least I had a good time.

Also, I just recently finished a rough sketch for my best friend/older brother. He likes it so much, it makes me happy. I'm still planning to fix/clean it up though. I'll just have to ink it though I'm contemplating on whether I should do it digitally or traditionally, and I'll just scan it again.

Oh woops! Time for me to go. I still have one more class to go to. :3

Oh almost forgot. I'm looking for nice, feel-good Western music to add to my playlist. :3

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  • 11:38 Internet is slow again. Oh well. Might as well get my laundry. #
  • 12:40 So I went out to eat lunch and forgot to get my laundry. #
  • 16:38 Nappy tiem. :3 #
  • 22:04 I wonder when will I ever get rid of my stuffy nose... #
  • 22:57 Ho boy. Someone cut and stole cables at my hometown. Now my sister's asking me to check her Facebook account for her. #
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20091207

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  • 09:35 @reverseg ah. Domino's pizza, how I miss you. #
  • 11:23 Blocked a few followers...who are they anyway? #
  • 11:23 Meh. Eyes still droopy. Might as well take a nap. #
  • 12:56 Now there's an idea. I should have bought powdered milk so I could drink milk everyday. #
  • 12:57 If I don't make sense, I'm still sleepy. #
  • 15:30 Still can't take a nap. Darn stuffy nose. :( #
  • 17:34 Is hungry but doesn't know what to eat. =( #
  • 22:38 Waiting patiently #
  • 09:19 I just woke up and I have to go to class already. :&lt; #
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20091206

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  • 11:40 @ponkhan Hahaha! Best birthday present ever #
  • 12:43 @bloodriot same #
  • 19:18 Come to think of it, I did seem like I never tweeted for today. #
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20091205

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  • 11:04 Why no water at school? D: #
  • 15:18 I feel like I'm living in a soap opera. #
  • 18:03 @bloodriot You're still at work? ;o #
  • 18:12 Aaah! I put too much water on my oatmeal! T_T #
  • 19:33 About time, isn't it? #
  • 19:51 Fucking finally! It's been almost a week since I've been trying to change my fucking avatar in Yahoo! #
  • 23:15 @ponkhan ˙uɐǝɯ ı 'ʇxǝʇ pǝʇɹǝʌuı ǝɥʇ ¿ʇɐɥʇ op n oʎ pıp ʍoɥ ¡dɐɹɔ ʎloɥ #
  • 23:42 @Parallax2814 ˙ǝuıɟ ʇsnɾ ʇı pɐǝɹ uɐɔ ı ¿ǝɥɔɐpɐǝɥ #
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20091204

I'm all fired up

I never knew I would be so fired up. Recently, I've been having lengthy chats with my friends and saw another side of the world. I realized some things in their stories that I've never experienced before. Sure, I've heard of them before, but the message they relayed became more powerful as I realized, they had actually been happening in my friends' lives.

Almost every single class I've been to this week reminded me of my friend and his current situation. He didn't finish his college, he's doesn't have a job and he's very sickly. He's quite jolly, yet despite that, his stories made me remember what kind of person I want to become. I want to be the teacher who would understand and help his students no matter what.

How I long for that day.

Once in High School, my English teacher and homeroom adviser was telling an anecdote. Teacher's salaries, at one point, were decreased. In protest, he also reduced the quality of his teaching techniques. When the parents complained, he then pointed out that because his salary was low, it was also what they get.

Now I understand his situation. In my place, the teachers have really low salaries despite the challenges they have to cope everyday. However, in my head, it didn't matter for me if I had a low salary or not. If I wanted to be a teacher then salaries come only second. Making my students learn is a top priority. If I want to protest, then I will do so directly but I will have to leave the children out of it.

Obviously, I have a different ideal from my late English teacher. However, I still respect him in my heart.

May you rest in peace, Sir Antonil.

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  • 17:42 Is cleaning the room while listening to The Morning Rush podcasts #
  • 19:31 Oh sure! The ping stops fluctuating when I'm not around! pfft. #
  • 20:37 My MSN dies at the slightest loss of ping... &gt;_&lt; *is now using Trillian for MSN messages* #
  • 06:59 @rxtmr Greetings to the family, including nieces Leann and Batchi. It's funny that I can relate to the top 10 now. It's worth a listen. #
  • 07:02 @rxtmr I love you but I can't kiss you...di ka pa nagto-toothbrush e. #
  • 07:06 @rxtmr I love you but, unless you're willing to enter a long distance relationship, I can't be with you. I love my country more. #
  • 07:22 @rxtmr I love you but I can't be with you. I'm on a diet. Goodbye my favorite Cheesy Bacon Mushroom Burger! #
  • 07:25 @rxtmr I love you but I have to go to my classes. I'll just have to download you via Blue Ritz's Podcasts. #
  • 07:27 @rxtmr I love you but I'm allergic to dog hair. And cat hair. And dusts, and your in-laws and your textbooks...okay maybe I don't love you #
  • 07:34 Is drinking Swiss Miss Rich Chocolate. I miss mom's hot choco. #
  • 08:34 @rxtmr Greetings to my sisters, Fay and Donna. Ate Fay was complaining earlier in Facebook. I-greet ko raw yung mga nakikinig. Ahahaha #
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20091203

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  • 13:28 @chicogarcia Tried driving around a bit more? #
  • 14:56 Early dismissal today but I have another class at 6. #
  • 15:48 Hmm...FMA Brotherhood #
  • 07:36 I wish I have more time in the morning for breakfast before I go to my PE class... Oh well #
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20091202

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  • 10:35 @Parallax2814 lmao #
  • 12:20 Back to life for me. #
  • 16:57 Sleepy...but someone woke me up. Now I have to comfort him. =( #
  • 19:22 Hmm.... #red #
  • 19:23 I wonder if there's an #orange #
  • 19:23 Nope. #
  • 23:44 G'night. I hope I can sleep well tonight. #
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20091201

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  • 10:10 I ish off to gets me laundry #
  • 12:56 I got a lot of mosquito bites. =( #
  • 19:31 I had a good dream, though it also involved me looking for who the hell just left a Facebook app music up on loop for the last two hours. #
  • 19:33 Though in my dream, the music was just an annoying mobile phone ringtone whom nobody bothered answering. #
  • 19:36 The internet's fluctuating ping is at it again... #
  • 23:56 @bloodriot stab photoshop with a wooden spoon #
  • 03:49 I can't sleep again. Is it because I worry too much? #
  • 08:54 @bloodriot Ouch. *gives hugs* &gt;_&lt; #
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I can't sleep again

Is it the talks I've engaged in? Is it the overall amount of stress I've gotten the past few months? Is it because I worry too much about people I haven't even met before? Is it really my sleeping position that keeps me awake at night? I have no idea. It's just that I have a lot of things in my mind now that keep me awake even though my body wants to rest.

So far, these nights have been taking a toll on me. Every night, I want to cry for my friends who used to be close. Nowadays, the rift between them is growing wider. I want to bridge it, even though I haven't even met them for over a year. You probably have no idea how much I want to cry for them.

Worse still, another friend has been sick. It was much worse than I thought. He seems fine now but I can't imagine the pain he's dealing with. My chest was hurting a few minutes ago and when I couldn't stand it anymore, I had to sit up straight. Mind you, that was just gas. This friend of mine would try to bear the pain of a dislocated chest bone, and that's not easy to heal.

Maybe I worry too much. Then again, I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to anyone at all. This has all been a hectic year for me.

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