SoulEclipse

20100127

Demotivation

I think I need posters...

All seriousness though, every passing day, I'm starting to just lose it. I'm lacking the will to move on. I doubt if I want to study anymore. My old habits are coming back to me and all of these are making me depressed.

Aaaaaand, just now, I've been talking to Rika. I ended up pouring some of the things I want to say. To be honest, while I like the environment (clean, quiet and refreshing campus), I'm not too fond of being here. I'm homesick. I miss the food that I want to eat and cook. I miss the family I want to cuddle up with. I'm far away from close friends and I don't really have friends here to begin with. I hardly talk to my roommates too.

Not all my subjects are exactly exciting either. In one subject, we have to be grouped together and report in front of the whole class; reports which are utterly boring. I don't think my prof ever does anything aside from checking the attendance. The way he speaks, if ever he does, is also boring. He's also a textbook teacher, a kind of teacher I hate. I mean, do I really have to know the name of that one guy who researched about something if I'm going to teach about something else?

Ugh. Life for me right now just sucks. I wish I didn't mess up 4 years ago.

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